The Real Reason
by WhiteHowler
Summary: At the end of the 1996 movie, Grace told the Doctor 'No' when he asked her to go with him. He thought he understood why but when he returns a year later, Lee tells him what happened while he was gone and Grace leaves a letter explaining everything. WARNING-Not a happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

**The Real Reason**

**by **

**Whitehowler**

**Grace stood there for the longest after the TARDIS had faded away from view, taking away the man she had fallen in love with, that mysterious alien known as "The Doctor." He had asked her to go with him but, she had said no, that she was needed here on earth and that much was true but there was another reason, the real reason she had said no.**

**He had been sad but, smiled when he turned to wave goodbye. Now that he was gone, the tears came freely as she walked away, heading back to her home there in San Francisco. A new millinium had begun but, she wasn't celebrating. She was remembering all that had happened in the past three days. **

**Her strange way of meeting him, listening to his twin hearts in her own kitchen, the wild ride on the motorcycle to the New Years' Eve Gala then, back to the TARDIS. Then, it had all gone wrong. He had gotten out the TARDIS toolkit to start repaires when that presence had invaded her mind, forcing her to pick up a heavy tool and hit the Doctor, knocking him unconscious.**

**She remembered everything that had happened, her and Lee placing the Doctor on the stretcher and strapping him down then, she shivered in repulsion, there was what happened next, something she could never tell the Doctor about. The Master told Lee to stay with the unconscious Time Lord and he had dragged Grace to another room and backed her up against the wall.**

**He had seen the Doctor kiss her and now, the Master not only violated her mind, he violated her body as well, opening her jeans and driving himself into her body, forcing her to respond to what he was doing to her. He kept her there for several minutes until he finally yanked out of her, smiling a cruel smile as she crumpled to the floor. Then, she went back to the stretcher and the awakening Doctor. **

**She was screaming and crying inside when the Master had her slap the Doctor's face and then, The Master had her place the restraining device on her love. He laughed as he made the Doctor watch him kiss Grace. Then, released from his control, she flew to the control room and reconnected the console, sending them into a temporal orbit.**

**She remembered the sickening sound as the Master threw her off of the balcony, snapping her neck, the last thing she heard was the Doctor screaming her name then, oblivion. Then, she remembered opening her eyes and seeing the Doctor kneeling next to her, tears on his face as he looked down then, she remembered the tranformation of his features, the joy and love when he saw her open her eyes.**

**She remembered the tightness of his embrace, his voice whispering in her ear, "You came back to me." Then, back to the control room, seeing Gallifrey even if from a distance then, home to San Francisco. He wanted her to come with him but she couldn't, not after what the Master had done to her but she would never tell him that, she couldn't break his hearts that way so she told him a half truth, that she was needed here.**

**He nodded as if accepting her answer and they kissed again, a sweet kiss with hints of passion waiting to be unleashed and again, she longed to go but, she shrank back, letting him leave without her. She stood there and then, she went home, curled up in her bed and cried her eyes out for what would now never be. She would never see him again and it tore her apart.**

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Master's Revenge**

**Part Two**

**by**

**Whitehowler**

**Chung Lee walked to the park where the TARDIS had landed him and Grace one year before. Now, things were so different. He sat down on the steps on the spot where the TARDIS had materialized and wondered if that enigmatic man would ever return. Lee actully hoped he wouldn't because then he'd have to...a familiar wheezing groaning sound caught his ear and he stood up and looked.**

**That blue police call box came into being and then there was a loud thump. The door opened and he stepped out, same as when Lee saw him last. The reddish brown hair was a little longer but the outift hadn't changed. He was looking up then he turned and saw Lee.**

**"Lee! Nice to see you again!" The Doctor practically skipped down the steps and pulled Lee into a bear hug. "What are you doing out here, oh, New Year's eve again? My how time flies. I should go and look up Grace, I'm sure she will be..." Lee stopped, "Doctor, wait." The Time Lord froze at the change in Lee's voice and turned around slowly, his blue eyes widening at the look on Lee's face.**

**Then, fear ran through the Doctor. "Lee, what has happened?" Lee sat on the steps in front of the TARDIS and pulled out an envelope, "This is for you, she asked me to give it to you if I ever saw you again." The Doctor looked at the white envelope in the outstretched hand. He took it, slowly and turned it over. There, in Grace's flowing handwriting were the words, "My Doctor." **

**He sat down next to Lee, suddenly afraid to open it. He felt a chill and not from the crisp December air. It was the chill of fear, of sadness. "Lee, tell me." Lee looked at the ground. The words he spoke next almost shattered the Doctor into pieces. "Grace Holloway is dead." He looked at Lee and saw the tears in the young man's eyes. "How?" He asked softly. "No one knows, it's as if she just wasted away. She went back to the hospital after you left, went back to work. Physically, they could not find anything wrong with her. She felt fine. She missed you but, she never regretted her decision to stay. But, it was like watching the life being leeched out of her and, three months ago, she didn't report to the hospital. I was working there by then so, I went by her place and...I found her. She was in bed, looking like she was asleep and I saw that on her desk so, I brought it with me."**

**Lee looked up at the sky. "She always watched the stars at night, wondering how you were doing, if you were happy but, there was something she was keeping to herself. I could see it in her eyes but, whatever it was she wouldn't talk about it. She did say one thing when this 'sickness' started. She kept telling me that it wasn't your fault, Doctor, that it wasn't anything you had done. I don't remember much about that night but, I have this horrible feeling that it had something to do with that weird guy that disappeared. I don't know. Listen, come by her place later, I'm staying there. She made me the executor of her estate since she had no family. If you want, I'll be there." **

**He reached over, lightly squeezed the Doctor's shoulder, got up and walked away, leaving a very quiet Time Lord sitting there comtemplating a white envelope. Finally, with a sigh, he opened it and the first sentence had him in tears.**

**"My Beloved Doctor,**

**If you are reading this then Lee found it where I am placing it for him to find. I'll be dead when you read this and please don't start blaming yourself, you did nothing wrong. There's something I never told anyone about that night in the TARDIS when the Master tried to kill you. It's hard to write it down after all of this time but, I want you to know what I did and why it happened.**

**When he had me knock you unconscious, we strapped you to the stretcher and wheeled you into the room where the Eye was. But then, oh God it still hurts to remember, He dragged me into another room and he, he told me that if i did as he said, he'd let you live. God forgive me but I believed him. He, he raped me. That's just the way it was and he laughed, taunting me about seeing you and I kiss and how he was really going to make you suffer.**

**Then, when he kissed me, I felt something leave my body and he laughed, a low cruel laugh and said that if, by some chance, you survived, he'd have his revenge anyway and then, I saw, in his mind, what he planned to do and I couldn't let that happen. Then, he dragged me back and made me do the other things I did. I was so happy when I came back and found you had beaten him but, the damage was already done.**

**He figured you would ask me to go with you and that I would say yes so, he thought you would have to watch me wither away and die but, I couldn't let that happen to you, my love so, that's the real reason I said "No". I knew that when I asked you to stay with me that you wouldn't but, I asked anyway. I have always loved you, my dearest and I did this so you wouldn't have to watch me die. Please, forgive me. **

**My Love Forever**

**Grace"**

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Grief and Closure**

**by**

**WhiteHowler**

**He sat there, tears streaming down his face and a white hot anger building inside of him but, it was all for naught. Grace was right, the damage had already been done before the Master was sucked into the Eye of Harmony. His Grace, his brave, beautiful, intelligent Grace and she never told him. Never even let him sense what had happened to her and all because she tried to save him. **

**He got to his feet and walked into the TARDIS, closed the doors and screamed, just screamed, as loud as he could then, he heard his TARDIS, she was humming sadly but, she was also comforting and he realized, TARDIS had known all along. and had respected Grace's wishes to not tell him.**

**He stood there at the control console, seemingly lost, not knowing what to do when his beloved machine mummured to him in his mind and a slow smile spread across his face, "You're quite right, old girl, I should." He set the coordinates and then pulled the main lever and TARDIS disappeared.**

**A few minutes later, the TARDIS materialized in Grace Holloway's back yard. Lee was waiting for him when the TARDIS doors opened. Lee smiled, "I was hoping you'd come." The Doctor nodded and followed Lee inside. He looked at the kitchen and a soft smile crossed his face, remembering him sitting there and Grace listening to his twin hearts.**

**"What will happen to this place, Lee?" He asked quietly. Lee turned, "It will be sold and the money will go into a scholarship fund she started for medical students who want to go into cardiology." The Doctr nodded, so like Grace. Then, he looked at Lee. "Where is she buried?" He asked. Lee smiled, "I can show you."**

**There were some places he would not take TARDIS and this was one of those times so, they got into Lee's car and drove to a small cemetary nearby. Lee drove up to a small plot andf the two men got out and slowly walked up a small hill. There, underneath a spreading tree was a small headstone. The Doctor walked up to it and knelt to look at it.**

**It read, "Grace Holloway. 1966-2001. Physician, Beloved Friend. She rests with the angels now and, she was loved." Tears trickled down the Doctor's face as he rested his hand on the headstone, "Yes, my Grace, you were loved and will be forever. You will always be my angel."**

**He stood, looked for a long moment and then, he and Lee went back to the car and back to Grace's home. Both men were quiet and finally, the Doctor walked out to the TARDIS. Lee followed, "Doctor, there is something she wanted you to have if you ever came back." He held out a small package. The Doctor took it, thanked Lee and walked into the TARDIS. Lee watched as the blue police call box disappeared from view.**

**In the vortex, the Doctor unwrapped the package to reveal a framed photograph of him and Grace at that New Year's Eve gala back in 1999. He didn't know how she had managed it but, it was of the two of them looking out over the city of San Francisco. The joy on her face broke his hearts but, he was glad she had been happy with him. He walked through the TARDIS corridors to his room.**

**Usually, photos he kept in the library but this one was special and he placed it on the small dressing table. He sat on the edge of his bed and stared at it for the longest and then, he cried, cried because of what had been done to her, cried for what now could never be and finally, cried because of the lonlieness that was so much a part of his existence.**

**"My sweet Grace," he whispered, "You'll never leave my memories, ever." He kissed the photo and returned to the control room. With a sigh, he set the coordinates, threw the lever and headed out, once again, the lonely Time Lord.**

**Finis.**


End file.
